Neville grew up to have a filthy mind...

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What tumblr has to say about Neville Longbottom

#Harry’s chest tatoo isn’t a Hungarian Horntail, it’s a portrait of Neville. #neville pisses felix felicis #if grindelwald and voldemort had fought the winner would be neville longbottom #neville uses nagini’s blood as soy sauce #neville’s parents weren’t tortured. bellatrix threatened to kill their son and they laughed themselves into insanity #muggles don’t know who lord voldemort was. they know about neville longbottom #if you’re looking for neville on the marauders map he’s labelled bamf#hogwarts no longer teaches defense against the dark arts they just hand out neville longbottom masks #ginny’s really thinking of neville during sex with harry. so is harry.

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We can do sensitive subjects...

 I don’t know, maybe NEVILLE FUCKING LONGBOTTOM?

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Interrupting Neville

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I feel bad for the Boggart

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When you give a nerd a Victory

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Why Neville Longbottom is a BAMF

1. The Sorting Hat is no longer used at Hogwarts; students are sorted based on how long it takes them to cry in the presence of Neville Longbottom.

2. When Harry and Ginny’s children were conceived, Ginny was thinking of Neville. So was Harry.

3. Voldemort didn’t light the Sorting Hat on fire; the Sorting Hat combusted because it touched Neville Longbottom.

4. Bellatrix never actually tortured Neville’s parents. She just threatened to kill their son and they laughed themselves into insanity.

5. Neville Longbottom doesn’t bow to hippogriffs. Hippogriffs bow to Neville Longbottom.

6. Thestrals can only see Neville Longbottom if they’ve witnessed someone dying.

7. Neville needs a remembrall not because he has a poor memory, but merely because he accomplishes too much to remember.

8. Merlin got an Order of Neville, Third Class.

9. When Severus Snape looks into Neville Longbottom’s mind, he only sees a sword coming at his neck.

10. When Neville Longbottom golfs, he uses a snake for the ball, and a sword for the club
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11. Hogwarts no longer teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts, they just hand out Neville Longbottom masks.

12. Before Neville punched it, it was known as Horizont Alley.

13. When Neville uses the knight bus, he calls himself Harry Potter to avoid all the attention.

14. Most people can slam doors. Neville can slam Floo powder.

15. When Draco Malfoy found out he was worth a whole 12th of Neville Longbottom, he cried for joy.

16. The wizard prison was originally named after Neville - it used to be Bad-Asskaban.

17. Voldemort and the Death Eaters were actually created in the Room of Requirement. Neville walked passed it 3 times thinking he needed some opponents who were not laughably pathetic in comparison to him. Some things, not even magic can do.

18. Neville was dueling with Voldemort when a wizard asked, “who’s that fighting Neville?”

19. To access the Marauder’s Map, all Neville has to say is “I’m Neville Longbottom…bitch…”

20. Professor Quirrel didn’t have to fake his stammer in Neville’s presence.

21. If someone replaced the Mirror of Erised with a picture of Neville Longbottom, no one would notice.

22. JK Rowling originally wanted to write the books from Neville’s point of view. Attempting this caused her permanent brain damage.

23. Voldemort can’t really fly. He can only fall after Neville kicks him.

24. When Neville is in a duel, he doesn’t need to use Expelliarmus; he just walks up and takes his opponent’s wand.

25. Snape didn’t convert to the Order of the Phoenix for love of Lily. He heard about the birth of Neville and knew it was only a matter of time.

26. Draco’s hairline isn’t receding, it’s actually running away from Neville.

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Nevillution

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Hipster Neville

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The dunce cap is on the other head now, isn't it?

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More B.A. Neville... it never stops.

Credit: Bottom Left

I post so much Neville stuff... I would feel bad but...

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They said I could be anything...

Found on MemeBase, but I wish I knew who actually made this. XD

"I Always Wanted to be a Wizard"

 Samwell Tarley (Game of Thrones) always wanted to be a wizard. I am going to attempt to explain how he is already a wizard based on the Universal Truth of Samwise.


Now, not every series has a Samwise by name, but every series has a Samwise by character traits.


The most obvious example is Samwise Gamgee (LotR). In my opinion Sam Gamgee is the original, and most influential, Sam of modern fantasy. I doubt many would disagree. In LotR, we have a story that goes something like this:

A little man has a big, scary problem. This little man is unsure of what to do, where to go, and whether or not he is strong enough. But he has friends. There is a smart one, a brave one, and a doughy coward that refuses to stay home even though he has never been good for anything. At the very end, it turns out that the poor, pudgy craven is the one that sticks it out the longest and does the most good.

This is the plot to a high percentage of fantasy quest-based stories. Sams are the cowardly fellow that won't give up on the unwilling hero no matter what, and have talents many people of their societies don't find useful or desirable.

Onto the part where we talk about Wizards. In the multi-billion dollar Harry Potter enterprise, we find ourselves another Samwise: Neville Longbottom.

Here we see his evolution from chubby loser to savior of Wizard-kind in about 2.5 seconds (in all actuality, it took 7 books [metric] or 8 movies [USA residents]).


Now, I postulate that all Sams are (universally speaking) the same character due to the authors all telling the same basic story. Although minor details are bound to change, Smawise, Samwell, and Neville are the same person. 


I therefore conclude that, unbeknownst to Samwell, because of J. K. Rowlings' Harry Potter novels, he IS a wizard.


Dreams are realized the world over with enough BS and the Internet.

Neville, I am your father.

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Neville and Bill... Cosby.

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Neville has had it...

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Poor Matt... they're all giving him squash.

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Imma let you finish, but...

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The Neville Meme Continues

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